Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you wish you had communicated better? Where you wish you had got your point across in a clearer way? Where you wish you had the skills to drive a conversation or negotiation in a different direction? This could be in a boardroom meeting, pitching to a client or bringing up a difficult issue with one of your colleagues.
Your aim is to get the best result. This might be for you personally or it might be for your company. Do you think your communication has the power to change an outcome?
Communication leads to connection. Every human being has a desire to connect in a meaningful and authentic way. If you can communicate effectively and make an authentic connection, you will be leaps and bounds above other people.
Become aware of your communication as you read through this blog. Have a think about your own communication style. Once you have an awareness, you are then on the start of a journey to develop these skills further.
The first thing to think about when you’re communicating to get the best result, is to think about your audience. Who are you communicating with? Would you agree the person you are speaking with has to feel receptive to what you’re going to say in order to get the best result from your conversation? For them to be in a place of receptiveness they have to feel comfortable. So, your first job is to make your audience feel comfortable, because if they are comfortable, they are ready to receive what you have to say. This might mean you have to be strategic in your approach. Advance warning is key. Let’s say you need to talk to one of your team about their recent performance. Walking straight up to them at their desk and diving head first into the problem, probably isn’t going to be the best approach.
Think!
How are you going to make them feel comfortable? Maybe it’s a quick email or conversation in person saying – Hey Bob, I would love to arrange a catch up over a coffee and touch base with you on how it’s all going on ‘XYZ’ project. They have an advance warning and you haven’t caught them off guard. Also note the language I am using, it’s conversational, it’s not too formal. You don’t want to make them feel uneasy about meeting up, you want to make them feel comfortable. Once they feel comfortable, they are going to be much more receptive with what you have to say – especially if you might be having a difficult conversation with one of your team about their performance.
First key point: You need to get your audience to feel comfortable in conversation with you. This will most likely be done by starting off with a casual conversation and finding some commonality.
Let's face it, business is built on relationships. How you communicate will most likely determine the outcome. How do you build a long-lasting business relationship? You do so primarily through your communication. Through your communication you build rapport, you build trust and you build a human connection. Through this, fruitful business relationships can be nurtured. Now we’ve thought about bringing our audience to a place of receptiveness, the second thing I want you to think about is the language you use in your communication.
The words you use have the power to build people up or break people down. They also have the ability to be inclusive or distance people. Take a moment to think. Is the language you’re using going to sit right with your audience? Who is your audience? It might be your boss, it might be your colleague, or it might be your partner. How do they think? What is their personality type? Are the words you’re using connecting into the way that person thinks and see things?
Would you agree people have different personalities? Would you agree some people are more analytical than others or maybe more creative? Think of the language you might use when talking to different personalities, does it line up with their character, temperament or disposition?
One of the keys things when communicating to get the best result is to get your audience (whoever that might be) to see your point of view. One of the best techniques I have seen work, to help people to understand your perspective is to reframe. Reframing is a technique used to help create a different way of looking at a situation or a person. Watzlawick, Weakland and Fisch (1974) describe the 'gentle art of reframing' like this:
To reframe, then, means to change the conceptual and/or emotional setting or viewpoint in relation to which a situation is experienced and to place it in another frame which fits the 'facts' of the same concrete situation equally well or even better, and thereby changing its entire meaning.
You could speak to someone for an hour and they still might not understand your point of view but suddenly you speak their language and reframe your thought process and they immediately get it!
Second key point: People like being communicated to in the way they communicate and think themselves. Think about the language you are using and how you can alter this for the audience you are communicating with.
Join me for part two soon!
All the best on your journey,
Michael
Comments